A Brief Update

It's late this evening but I wanted to take a minute to give you a brief update on my progress. I have run into several people lately who have mentioned they like reading my blog. I'm so humbled by that! It honestly astonishes me that anyone is interested in my ramblings. :)  Thank you for all the encouragement people have provided. One of the biggest reasons I decided to start a blog for this journey was the accountability it would provide. By making my "BHAG" public I also was making myself accountable for meeting it!

This year has definitely been tough on many fronts. October was no exception. I'm happy to report that a couple weeks ago I stepped on the scale (after not weighing myself for a couple weeks) and was officially down 15.2 pounds!!!  That was very exciting.  Unfortunately I have put a couple pounds back on in the ensuing weeks.

I keep saying this, but this really is about more than just weight for me. One of my other big challenges is my very hectic schedule.  So as you might guess the last couple weeks have been very stressful to me and that never usually means good things on the weight front.  With the changing of the weather I have also gotten out of my walking habit.  However, I am going to make a very concerted effort over the next few weeks (before the official start of the holidays) to get up to the Town and use their indoor walking track at least 2-3 days a week.  I was good at doing that a few years ago and I need to get back to it.  I'm also trying to cut down on needless calories. I admit, I broke down and had a peppermint mocha today but I've been doing pretty good at limiting myself to tea (which is so much better for me).

In October I was also blessed to be able to go to the country of Iceland. What a wonderful place to visit!!  Here is a photo from there. I hope to blog a little more about it in the future. I just wanted to check in on here for tonight -- more for myself than anything -- to reconfirm that I really am still working on this crazy goal!  Thanks friends...

My best inspiration

Losing weight is hard.  I guess if it were easy, everyone would do it.  It's not a hard concept to grasp (eat less calories than you are using) but so often the execution goes awry.  I'll be honest, there are days when I just don't want to deal with this. I am tempted to just say "forget it" and eat whatever I want -- and sometimes I do. 

But as I recently traveled back from an overseas trip I meditated a bit on my journey and why I am trying to do this. I thought about all the obstacles I have come up against (the biggest one being myself) and a thought occurred to me that hasn't before.  I have to be strong and tackle this just as my mom had to be strong and tackle her disease.

I'm reminded of that resolve because as I write this my aunt is currently in the final stages in her own battle with cancer.  It's hard for me to make sense of all of this right now, but I can tell you this: my mom & her sister have both inspired me in the way they faced down their disease and fought back.

I had a front row seat in my mom's battle and let me share with you what I saw. From the moment of her diagnosis my mom was an inspiration.  There were no "woe is me" moments, but a clear resolve to do everything she could to fight back.  She had treatments with at least four different kinds of chemo (and all the various side-effects they caused), went through 2 major rounds of radiation, fought of an infection that nearly killed her, spent nearly 6 weeks (not consecutive) in the hospital, walked around with an oxygen tank, took more pills than she knew what to do with, gained and lost weight and had countless blood transfusions.  There was no 'time off' from having cancer.  She dealt with nausea, digestive issues, hives, weakness, sores, hairloss, confusion and more.  Cancer doesn't fight fair.

And through it all, my mom dealt with it with grace.  My aunt has also battled just as hard with her disease.  I wish with all my heart that I didn't have to have this type of inspiration but watching both of them tells me that I come from tough stock.  If they can go through all of this, literally feeling like hell, then I can suck it up and accomplish this task. 

I only hope that I can do it with as much grace and dignity as they have.  Love you two...

Carpe Diem

“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived.” - Henry David Thoreau (Used in the movie Dead Poets Society)

I am approaching my birthday here in just a little over a month, it's a time that always makes me a bit contemplative.  The act of turning another year older always makes me pause and assess my life.  I'm not approaching a decade birthday  (20, 30, 40) but it's a mid-decade birthday.  It's also a number that I used to casually toss out as sort of a deadline in my life.

For example, if I'm not _____ by the time I'm 35, then I'll do _______.  For me it was usually if I'm not married by the time I'm 35 then I'll do ________.  And guess what, I'm not married (nor likely soon to be).  So I have to admit there is a little bit of trepidation at looking at life beyond this age. It's not that it's old or that it's even all that scary to be single, it's just that life is turning out a bit different than I had anticipated.  

 

Of course, I didn't anticipate that I would lose my mom at this age either.  This is something that I shouldn't have to face until I'm in my 50s or 60s, not my 30s.  Not when my brother and his wife had their first baby and my parents (finally) have their first grandchild.  Not when she won't be around for the coming milestones in our lives.  That isn't supposed to happen until I'm older, not when I still need her.

 

But here it is and I must live the life I have been given.  This process of losing weight is all tied up into this assessment of my life.  I kept thinking I would accomplish that 'someday' and it turns out that I can't wait for someday.  I need and want to do it now.  It's not just my weight that I've put off. There have been other things (traveling, hobbies, interests, etc) that I've often sacrificed for 'someday'.  I won't be able to do them all at once but I'm trying to start a little at a time.  Challenging myself to push beyond the limits of my comfort zone.  Do something just a bit out of the ordinary.  Live.

 

Of course, some of you who know me might be thinking 'what the heck do you think you've been doing for the last 34 years?"  And to be fair, in my humble opinion, I have already lived a pretty great life.  But there's always more I want to do.    I tell my staff at work, ideas are never a problem for me, I always have more of them! 

So I'm trying to stop putting things off as if I'm waiting for life to begin.  Relax, I'm not doing anything crazy but just trying not to say if I'm not _____ by the time I'm __, then I'll do ______.  If there is one thing that my mom taught me, it's that life is precious and each day is a gift. I have to try to squeeze the most out of it.

A Fun Story

It's hard to believe that it's been almost seven months since my mom passed away.  In some ways it feels like just yesterday and in other ways it feels like a lifetime ago.  Tonight I want to share a great story about my mom that really captures her essence, and hopefully helps you to understand just why exactly I am willing to undertake this crazy idea.

About 5 years ago my mom's youngest sister turned 50.  She decided for her birthday that she wanted to climb the tallest mountain in NYS - Mt. Marcy.  Standing at 5,344 ft. Mt. Marcy is in the High Peak region of the Adirondack Park.  It's a strenuous hike from my understanding and not something typically to be done on a whim but on the other hand it isn't technical mountain climbing either. 

My mom and their other sister accompanied her as well as various other family and friends, all women, on this hike.  (I knew my limits and sat it out! :)   My mom at the time was just a couple years shy of 60 and had no intention of hiking to the top.  She went out on the trail with the group that day wearing her cheap discount store windpants and some plain walking-type sneakers.  She had no trekking poles but having been told by the others that it would be helpful she creatively made one out of a broomstick handle. :) And she set out without a drop of water and only some grapes in a cooler backpack that she had.

She had no intention of going more than a mile or two along the path but one thing led to another and as the story goes, before they knew it my mom was out ahead of some of the more experienced climbers.  Eventually one of my cousins did give her a set of trekking poles so she could do the thing properly.  As you might guess, she made it to the top (GO MOM!) and the picture here is her on top of the mountain. I cropped the others out since I didn't ask their permission to post this but the full picture tells the story.  Everyone else in their hiking boots and gear and my mom looking like she just ran out to go to the corner grocery store and accidentally climbed a mountain.

My aunt said that when they reached to the top my mom looked at her and said "so where is the ride down?"  We laughed about that for a while.  Not sure now if she really thought there was (similar to Whiteface Mountain) or she was just pulling my aunts leg.

So they all climbed down. My mom outstripped them all again some of the time.  She ate her refreshing and trusty grapes along the way (I'm guessing someone took pity and gave her water).  And when they got down to the bottom and my 20-something cousin could absolutely walk no more without her legs seizing up, my mother volunteered to go get the car and pick them up. 

I love that story because it's so representative of how awesome my mom is.  She was 'plucky' and I love a plucky heroine in a good story.  Only she could accidentally climb a mountain.  That's why I hope to climb Mt. Marcy next summer and eventually climb to Mt. Everest Base Camp.  My mom was incredible and it was an honor to be her daughter!

A Small Victory...

Brr! It's starting to get chilly outside which means as much as I don't want to admit it, summer is ending and fall is beginning.  I actually love fall -- don't get me wrong, but I'm not so much looking forward to another long, dark winter. I was just starting to get outside and exercise!

So tonight I went to pull on a pair of jeans for the first time since May and guess what?  They were loose!  *happy dance*  They aren't exactly falling off yet (perhaps another 15 lbs or so) but they are definitely not tight. They were very tight when I last wore them so this is an improvement.

Tonight I walked another 3.5 miles and am up to 120 crunches.  I also went back to Weight Watchers (finally!) this week.  I'm still hovering right at 12 lbs lost. I'm not sure I'll quite make my goal of 18 lbs for this first quarter (which is at the end of September) but since I started later in July that is okay.  As long as I continue my trend of losing weight I am good with that.

Somehow, I know my mom is proud of me.

Game - Set - Match

So last weekend I continued my foray into getting more active.  I walked over 3 miles twice more and continued doing crunches. I also took advantage of an offer from my cousin to go and play some tennis. It felt so good to get out on the court and hit the ball around for a while. We ended up playing for 2.5 hours which made it great exercise as well.

I played tennis in high school but haven't played very much since then.  I'm not very good but I did manage to keep up with my cousin, who is a far better player than I will ever be. (Especially my backhand!) 

I share this to say that it is making me think about what other ways I can change up my exercise program. In the past when I try to exercise I have tended to get in a rut, doing the same thing every time.  Clearly, walking (and eventually running) needs to figure prominently since I am also training to trek in the mountains.  However, I'd also like to work in some alternative exercise such as tennis and yoga to keep things a little more interesting. 

I'm still struggling with my crazy, crazy schedule right now but I'm trying to work in the exercise when I can. I certainly feel better on the days when I can exercise and I also find that I'm sleeping better.

I also went back to Weight Watchers (finally!) tonight. I'm pleased to report that I'm up to a total of 12 lbs. lost so far! 

So how do you like to exercise? What motivates you to keep working out?

Week in Review

 

So I am heading here in just a few hours :).  But before I do I wanted to do a little bit of a week in review post to capture some of my current thoughts.

The Good:
**I walked 3 miles and did 100 crunches 3 times this week.  Up until now I haven't added in any coordinated exercise routine. It felt good to get out and stretch my muscles again.  I figure that since I'm losing weight and also training to trek in the Himalayas every step I take in training is a step in my journey!

**I took my  lunch every day this week.  I haven't officially started Weight Watchers again but I know that most fruit and vegetables are 'free' points now so I've been trying to get ahead and eat a lot of those with my lunch. They are filling and good for you!

**I have started working in drinking water to my daily routine.  I would say three out of five days this week I managed to drink an extra 16-20 ounces of water over what I normally drink.  Obviously that needs to go up, but it's a start!

Needs Improvement:
**Well next week my goal is to do for my dinners what I did for my lunches (ie. get them under control).  I continue to believe that the last 30-40 lbs. that I have gained are almost all related to my lifestyle.  Eating on the go, not cooking for myself, not exercising..etc.  So some of this weight will come off just by changing those things (clearly to take off all of it I will have to do more than that, though).  My dinners this week were a struggle as I ate out for four of five and the fifth one I cheated and got a ready to eat meal at Wegmans!

Goals for Next Week:
**Eat dinner at home at least 2 nights (with a real home-cooked meal).  Hopefully each week I can increase the amount of days I eat at home by one but this week we'll start with two!

**Increase my daily water intake.  I'd like to try to double what I am drinking now.

**Work out again 3 times and play tennis with my cousin!  I do realize that I can't always rely on walking for my fitness (boring!).  Tennis, yoga, fitness classes...something will have to be thrown in to change it up a bit!

All in all a pretty good week.  Coincidentally it was also a quiet week at work. We'll see what happens when that starts up in full speed again.  I weighed myself on Monday and was down a total of 11.4 lbs.  After my disastrous dinners though I gained a pound and a half back by Wednesday (now you know why it wasn't a weigh in Wednesday).  But this morning I'm back down again and actually at 11.8 lbs!

Enjoy the weekend everyone!

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Balance

The key to keeping your balance is knowing when you've lost it. Anonymous

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I love the quote above, but if I am honest I think it should read just a bit differently. I would say the key to keeping your balance is knowing when you're about to lose it.  As humans, however, we do not often have that blessed foresight that would keep us from crashing and burning as we so often do.  

Balance is one of those trendy words that is thrown around a lot today. I've heard people say they are working to keep a 'work-life balance.'  I always wonder how exactly they can do that or truly if they really even understand what it means.  If you asked me the question, "do you wish to lead a balanced life?" my answer is yes!  However, it's sometimes very hard to figure out what exactly that balance should be. 

In truth it isn't just work & life that need to be balanced, it's life in general.  Your home life, family life, work life, volunteering life, spiritual life etc.  I would suggest that in this day and age of constant communication it is really hard to do that, at least for me.

I've been through this before, unfortunately. I can look back at a handful of points in my life where I would say that I approached 'burnout'.  I have a hard time saying no to others and ultimately I tend to overcommit myself.  I hate to let people down but in the end I run myself ragged.  It's a fine line between being selfish with your time and being wise with your time. I don't like to be seen as selfish but unfortunately that often leads me to act unwisely.

Part of this process of getting 'healthy' goes beyond just the physical goal of losing weight and climbing to Everest Base Camp. It is also about me restoring balance (or at least figuring out what that might look like for me).  I love my job and I think I'm pretty good at it too. When I first started it almost five years ago I wasn't busy enough.  I'm not sure when that changed but now I have the opposite problem, I'm too busy! I first realized it last year when my mom was sick. I was incredibly busy between work and taking care of her. After she passed away I expected that to ease just a bit but if anything I feel even more busy.

It's not just as simple as leaving on time at the end of the workday however. I have made commitments to projects that I must (and want to) fulfill. It will not be fixed overnight. However, I want to begin looking at my life through a more balanced lens.  What am I called to do with this life and how can I best organize my time to accomplish that?  For starters that means having some different priorities. I am trying to get involved in a local church (beyond just attending) and also to find time to exercise as simple as that sounds.  Certain weeks of the month I find myself with early mornings and late nights which doesn't leave a lot of down time.  I don't have many answers right now but at least I am beginning to think about it. I think that is a good first step.  

Surely I'm not alone in feeling this way  .Who else feels too busy & overwhelmed?

Smart Choices...

If I am successful in meeting my goals it will be the result of a million good choices that I made along the way. I wish that it were as easy as making the decision once, but I know that it is more than that. Undoubtedly I will make a few bad choices along the way as well.

Tonight, however, I am celebrating a couple good decisions that I made today.  I had a huge work event yesterday that left me feeling very physically exhausted. I got home at a normal time tonight and instead of laying on the couch (like I wanted to) I decided to lace up my new sneakers and go for a walk. I walked for an hour, did some crunches and push ups and then went for a quick swim.  That was a great set of decisions for a couple reasons.  First, it got me moving. I've been making healthier eating choices this month but I haven't had the time to start any exercise regimen.  This was a terrific start. I always feel better (and sleep better) when I've done some exercise.  Secondly, it was a great decision as I also strive to get a better sense of balance in my life. I'll share more about that in the coming weeks but as I've said before, this isn't just a physical journey for me.  Another piece of it is restoring this work-life balance that I seemed to lose at some point.

My second wise choice today was pretty simple, I ate the lunch I took to work. I was temped to go out for a quick bite when I was running errands (and that was definitely something I used to do often) but I stuck to my original plan. In fact, I've been making and taking my lunch to work pretty regularly all month.

I know I don't weigh in officially until Wednesday but I can usually tell when I've lost some weight. I've been feeling that way for a couple days so I let curiosity get the better of me tonight and I have indeed lost weight!  From July I am down a total of 6.4 lbs and from March a total of 11.4 lbs!

That's a great way to end the day. One decision at a time!

Weigh-in Wednesday

Enough about perspective, it's time to update you on how I am actually doing.  Well...see that is why perspective is so important.  Strictly speaking I'm still down 3.2 lbs from where I started this journey (down at least 8 lbs from my highest weight) but that is a couple pounds higher than I was last time.

That is why perspective is so important and also why I'm not ONLY measuring my success by the scale.  See in the last few weeks I've traveled twice and when I was home, I had a very busy schedule.  That's one of my big problems right now, I don't always have complete control over what I'm eating (I can, of course, control portions though).  Looking back over the last few weeks and where I've been I am actually pleased that I'm doing as well as I am.

A couple other good things:

• I've been making healthier choices even when I go out.  I've been trying to skip fried foods if at all possible.  Today I ordered a grilled chicken sandwich. I love grilled chicken but usually when I go out that is when I give in and get a fried chicken sandwich. Today I restrained myself, and I didn't force myself to finish the meal. I stopped when I was full!
• I haven't been able to get on a regular walking schedule yet, but in LA and certainly last weekend in Michigan I had days with extensive walking. In fact, the day I got to LA I went out to explore the city on foot so I could work in a little exercise!
• Tonight I went for a swim when I got home. Swimming laps and treading water is great exercise!
• I've been taking my lunch almost every day (except today when I left it at home) and eating lots of fruit with my sandwich.

This whole move to get healthier encompasses more than just my weight. I also realize that I am just too busy. I'm trying to fix that but I'm involved in a number of things with commitments right now so it's going to take a little time to get my schedule evened out a bit.  It's easy as a single person to over-commit yourself. No one is waiting at home for me so I just keep saying yes.  Part of this process is realizing that its better to do a few things and do them well than to try to be all things to all people.

Next week I hope to have taken off those couple extra pounds and I see no reason why I won't do that. I'm taking this one day and one decision at a time...

Just for fun...a photo I took in LA.

That elusive virtue...patience

I used to joke with my friends in college that patience was a virtue........that I didn't have!  (Hey, I never claimed to be a comedian.)  Certainly those who have known me longest might find some truth in my joke.  However, as with many other things in life, the truth isn't quite as cut and dried as that. 

I readily admit that I can be incredibly impatient in certain situations.  For example, after driving for two years in Washington DC when I was younger I have a very limited amount of patience behind the wheel.  I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is at this point.  That's exhibit A.

And yet, I have been known to have patience as well.  Many years ago I worked methodically to pay off some debt I had accumulated.  It took a couple years, and was not without failure, but in the end I accomplished it.

In LA I had a chance to visit the Getty Center, which is this incredible art museum perched atop a hill in the Santa Monica mountains. The view was absolutely breathtaking.  Actually, the museum itself was a work of art and quite intriguing to visit.  The major piece that they have on display there is Van Gogh's Irises.

It's a very famous piece of artwork.  From this view the work of the painter comes together seamlessly.  I'm hardly an art scholar but even I can appreciate a masterpiece!  But let's take a closer look:

Looking at the painting a bit closer you begin to see the individual brushstrokes that went into this masterpiece.  I love looking at paintings up close like this and marveling at the genius of the artists.  Van Gogh must have been able to envision the end result even before he put a single brush on the canvas.  The paint is very thick in some places and you can see that he must have had to spend some significant time completing even just one part of this piece. Artistically, I have no creative bone in my body like this and to study it up close just boggles my mind! I am left in awe of what this talented person left behind.

In creating a painting of this size, Van Gogh also showed an incredible amount of patience. He painted this in the year before he died, a time of prolific creation for him.  His patience wasn't demonstrated by the passage of time but in the careful patience of an artist who was bringing a vision in his mind to life. Each stroke brought him closer to his goal.

I reflect on this because it reminds me that the goals I have set forth for myself are 'masterpiece' goals. I am not aiming to complete a paint-by-number goal, where the work is laid out before me and very likely one-dimensional.  No, my goals are many, layered and very complex.  This blog is a chance for me to step back from the area where I am working and view my work in totality.  Patience is absolutely essential for my success!

Unfortunately, I don't have the talent of a master. I am a mere, fallible mortal after all.  However with God's help I am working to accomplish the impossible!

Just for fun, here's a photo from the Getty Center (I highly recommend a visit):

The view from 30,000 feet...

So, the timestamp on my last post tells me that it's been a fair amount of weeks since I've posted. Yikes! I did not mean to let that much time go between entries.  I've had a couple people ask if I am still aiming for my goals and the answer is YES!  I'm still working on making healthy choices.  I've been doing a little traveling lately so that has made it hard for me to keep up with the online part of everything.  Rest assured I'm still working hard though!

This photo is the view from my airplane window as we flew over Arizona.  Earlier this month I went to LA for a work trip that I ended up extending by a few days to do a bit of touring.  I love looking out of the windows of airplanes - when there is something to see. I spied the Mississippi River, the Missouri River (evidently still flooding), the edge of the Grand Canyon, Lake Mead and the Hoover Dam among other things.

It's amazing how far you can see from up there (incidentally, we were cruising around 35,000 ft.... Mt. Everest base camp is about halfway down around 18,000. Whoa, that put it in a bit of perspective).  Life's everyday problems seem so far away when you look at things from that height.  Everyday life is a bit like what I would imagine exploring that canyon way down below must be like.  The walls seem high and impenetrable, it's a meandering path without a clear end point and sometimes you feel all alone.  However, viewed from this angle you can really admire the beauty in its creation.

Getting away to LA was a great little respite for me.  Not only did I literally see the world from 30,000 feet I also had a birds eye view figuratively.  Life has been very challenging since I lost my mom.  Some days I feel fine and other days I'm an emotional mess.  There have been times when I got excited about something only to have a door slammed in my face. It all felt a bit overwhelming at times (truthfully, it still does)  and even though I know I'm not alone ...it often feels like I am. 

Being away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life helped me to breathe normally again and see things from a different perspective.  It didn't take away the ache of missing my mom, but it helped me to gather up strength and continue to face this twisting, turning canyon road I seem to be walking.  My mom had a battle like that with her disease.  She never knew what the day would be like, but she never complained or felt sorry for herself. She is truly my inspiration for this journey I am on.  Getting away helped remind me why I am doing all of this.  Thanks friends, for walking it with me. I remain indebted to you for your support!

Nepal...here I come!

So this is a photo from base camp and approximately where I will be going in November 2013 if all goes according to plan (keep in mind that the top of that mountain is roughly where a jumbo jet cruises - 29,000 ft.).  While it isn't a technical climb, it is 14 days of treking between roughly 8,000 ft and 18,000 ft.  The altitude will be a huge challenge in and of itself (and that's with Sherpas carrying our belongings).  However, I also need to begin building my endurance and ability to hike long distances without tiring.

I played tennis and softball in high school and actually think that if I stick to my careful plan I should be able to do this.  The leader of the trek said the most important thing is the ability to walk for long distances for many days.  So here's my plan of attack over the next couple years:

2011 - before I can start any serious training I need to lose roughly 40 lbs. so I'm focusing on that this year.  I will also begin walking 3-4 days per week and once fall comes I plan to try hiking on some area trails (I am shocked at how many there are) just to get myself used to the journey a bit.

2012 - In addition to continuing to lose weight and weekly walking/hiking I have a couple other goals.  First is to run three 5K's (one each season: spring, summer, fall).  I might not be able to run the whole way at first but I want to start to train for them over the winter.  This will help me with endurance.  Additionally, I plan to hike the tallest mountain in NYS: Mt. Marcy.  It's 5,344 ft. so only a quarter of the way I will be going but still it's a days journey and great training.  It's also special because my mom climbed it back in 2006 (more on that in the future).

2013 - In 2013 I hope to be able to climb a couple more Adirondack high peak's during the summer as well as continuing hiking, walking and running.  If my running goes well I may attempt a 10K. That's a big goal since I'm not a runner by any stretch.  Again, with hard work and dedication the majority of my weight should be off by then so running should be a bit of an easier prospect.

I may try to go out west a little bit in 2012/13 to start to figure out how I do with the altitude. I was in Colorado Springs 10 years ago and that was no issue for me, so perhaps a fun trip like that might be thrown on the schedule but it isn't a must.  The company paces everything purposefully so you can acclimatize along the way.

I get really pumped up planning it all out and thinking about what it will be like.  I am not always the most patient person in the world so having a plan that spells out how what I am doing now will help me achieve the end goal is important. 

Thanks for all the encouraging comments. So far no one has told me I'm absolutely crazy so that is a start! :-)  By the way, a great song to get me pumped about this trip is the new Coldplay single "Every teardrop is a waterfall". You can listen to it here.

BHAG #2

Without any further ado, I'd like to tell you a little bit about my second big BHAG.  Not only am I aiming to lose 50% of my current body weight.  I'm putting a little bit of an incentive behind it. 

Last year after my mom was diagnosed with cancer, my family signed up to participate in our local Relay for Life.  We were so incredibly blessed by people offering support, meals and such that we wanted to find a way to pay it forward.  That seemed like an excellent opportunity.  Our team collectively was the highest fundraising team in 2010 and we raised just shy of $10,000!  My mom was (quite frankly we all were) completely astounded by people's generosity.  She was touched beyond measure that people would take the time to support this important cause.

This year we participated again and though we didn't raise quite as much it was still a wonderful experience for our family. It was only 3 months after she had passed away and I confess that my heart wasn't in it the same way.  However, I also have an aunt battling cancer so we were all committed to participating and we raised over $2,500 this year.

At the kick off dinner one of the American Cancer Society staff members told about a recent trek he had made to Mt. Everest Base Camp in Nepal with ACS.  He raised $2,500 for ACS in order to participate in the trek with a handful of other people.  The group also did treks to Mt. Kilimanjaro and Mt. Marcy. That dinner was literally days after my mom passed. I heard what he said, thought it was interesting but basically didn't think much more about it until recently.

In 2010 I had become sort of obsessed with learning about Mt. Everest. I watched a couple seasons of the reality show Everest: Beyond the Limit on the Discovery Channel (isn't that channel so addicting sometimes?).  Then I read several books including Jon Krakauer's Into Thin Air that told the stories of people who had climbed Everest and K2 (the 2nd tallest mountain in the world).  I was fascinated, I admit it.  It was both easier and much, much harder than I imagined. I had no desire (still don't) to try to climb Mt. Everest, don't worry.  However, I admit that I suddenly had a desire to see it in person and to travel to this mysterious part of the world...the roof of the world as its called to see all that was there.

So my second BHAG is quite simple: I'm going to join a 2013 Journeys of Inspiration Trek to Mt. Everest Base Camp. I've talked to the local company who is running it and they feel that as long as I stick to my plan and start training I should have no trouble participating.  Base camp is 17,500 feet but not a technical climb in any way.  However the altitude is a challenge as is having the endurance to hike for many, many days in a row. 

I admit, it's absolutely crazy for me to set this goal out there.  And though I am not climbing Mt. Everest, with the shape that I am in at this very moment, even this adventure could be just as crazy.  But I think it's excellent incentive and a wonderful way to continue to honor my mom.

By the way, the photo on this blog is actually not Mt. Everest but it is from the Himalayas. It's Khumbu Himal but it's close enough to inspire me!  Wish me luck!  Here's more about Journey's of Inspiration.  More to come soon....

Weigh In Wednesday

I've been a little distracted so I haven't had a chance to update the blog.  But I haven't been distracted from my goals.  Today is "Weigh-in Wednesday" and I'm pleased to report that since last week I've lost 3.4lbs! Yay!  I know that it won't come off that easily always but it's an excellent start.  (And actually from the highest weight I've lost about 10 lbs!)

Today I want to write a little bit about mission statements.  Mission statements are very common in business and organizations.  What do they do?  They outline the purpose of that organization and helps them to stay on track.  It also helps them to outline how they want to do something.  For example Nike's mission statement is:  To bring inspiration and innovation to every athlete in the world. 

Mission statements can be company-wide or project-specific.  Again, in my work life setting mission statements has been tremendously helpful in achieving success.  So I decided to set a personal mission statement to help me achieve these goals.  It encompasses all my goals in a succinct way:

I will work to combine the promise I made to my mom before she passed away (to lose weight) with my deep desire to travel off the beaten path while raising money and awareness to help find a cure for cancer.

More to come...

A nice confirmation...

I went to church today and the sermon was on a passage in Ephesians 6.  Verses 2 & 3 jumped out at me:
“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— ³ “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”  It seemed like a nice confirmation that the path that I am on is correct.  Part of what I am doing is honoring my mom by keeping this promise and I believe God will bless the effort if I stay faithful.

It's been a good week for making smart choices.  In some cases I've even surprised myself.  Thanks for all the wonderful support this week.  And thank you to my mom for being my best inspiration!

Imagineering

Anne Shirley: Don't you ever imagine things differently from what they are?
Marilla Cuthbert: No.
Anne Shirley: Oh Marilla, how much you miss.
(from the movie Anne of Green Gables)

I can identify with the fictional character of Anne Shirley in a number of ways but in my opinion this quote captures it best of all.  I have always had a great imagination.  I had imaginary friends when I was a kid (they were even creatively named - that's a different story though) and was always thinking up creative stories when I played with friends.  I think that may be why the "Harry Potter" books so enthrall me because those stories really capture my imagination.

As adults the imagination we cultivated as children can help us to achieve goals and overcome obstacles in our life.  I played sports as a kid and before we ever took to the field for a game, our team always had many practices to prepare ourselves.  In fact it would be crazy not to practice first, we certainly wouldn't be successful without practice.  I do a fair amount of public speaking as part of my job and before I deliver a big speech or participate in an interview I practice (it only makes sense, right?).

So I can't practice losing weight (you either do or do not) but I can visualize the success that I could have by reaching my goal.  Does that make sense? It's late as I write this and I realize it may not. To look at it another way, when you travel, isn't it always easier to go someplace you've been before?  So by visualizing my success it gradually becomes easier to attain it.  I don't want to sound too crazy. I'm not exactly just sitting around all day having visions or anything, ha, ha.

I love the English singer Adele (saw her in concert recently too!). She has an amazing song called "One and Only" and it contains the following lyrics which probably capture my muddled thoughts better than I am explaining them:

I don't know why I'm scared, I've been here before
Every feeling, every word, I've imagined it all,
You never know if you never try to forget your past

 

Incidentally, Weight Watchers also identifies this technique in their "Tools for Living" section. They call it 'mental rehearsing' but its the same thing. It doesn't mean I'll never slip up, surely I will.  It does help me get back up when I do slip and get back on the road to success.  If you can see it, you can do it!

By the way, here's a link to that amazing Adele song. 

 

Goal #1

I promise I will share what my second goal is soon.  I'm trying to be deliberate in how I tell this story so you will know that this decision isn't just a whim.  That one will be a bit of a surprise for people...so I want to make sure I share my thought pattern behind it.

My first BHAG is to lose weight.  Well actually to 'lose weight' isn't really a BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goal).  My BHAG is how much I want to lose.  I have a number, which I'll share at the end but to put it into a percentage, I am trying to lose 50% of my current body weight.  Yikes!  Yes, that's a lot of weight but it wouldn't be a BHAG if it wasn't Big, right?

I've given this a lot of thought and want to make sure that the process is healthy, realistic and attainable. I've been tripped up many times in the past by trying to do too much at once.  My goal is about 6 lbs. per month or 18 lbs. per quarter.  It will probably come off faster than that at the beginning and much slower than that at the end. I'm not too concerned with the exact timing as long as I trend that way over many months.

I want to say right now that I'm NOT ON A DIET! :)  I'm making a healthy lifestyle change.  A diet is a short-term thing and this is something that I'm doing that will impact me for a much longer term.  As such, nothing is off limits (so please...no food police - "are you supposed to be eating that?") as long as the portions are in reason.  Of course, over time I will naturally start to select healthier eating options but I'm not making any drastic cuts. I am trying to limit my intake of some things (ie. mochas only on special occassions-drink hot tea instead, and severely cutting down on pop).  In mid-August I plan to go back to Weight Watchers with my dad who is also joining me on this journey of weight loss.  I've had success with their plan before and they follow my theory of nothing being off limits as long as you account for it.

I do have some exercise goals as well but those are more related to my other idea so more on that later.  Since I'm doing this in honor of my mom, I've decided that every quarter that I reach my goal I will donate some $$ the American Cancer Society to help find a cure for that nasty, nasty disease.

So friends, I have a much more detailed plan, but I'll be weighing in on Wednesdays and plan to keep you updated. I'm pleased to report that the first week of this (which started before the blog) I lost 2 lbs! :)  Making healthy choices, taking one step at a time and having an undiminished faith that with God's blessing I can accomplish this I believe will bring me success.  Thanks for all the wonderful support.  More to come soon!

Ch, ch, ch, changes...

Sometimes the dichotomy of your personal and professional life can be startling.  For instance, I am a "change agent" at work.  When I take over a new project or program I immediately begin evaluating it for potential changes. It's not that I change things just for the sake of it, but more that I subscribe to the idea of 'continual improvement.'  Many times, there are better ways of doing something and I'm the type of person that is keen to try those out.

You could argue that even in my personal life at times I've been unafraid of change (or at least unwilling to let fear of change get in the way).  I went two states away to college, then moved to a major east coast city by myself, and I've moved three times since then for my profession.  I have had people tell me before that they admire my courage to do all of these things and to be honest I've always had a hard time understanding that.  To me it hasn't been courage that has led me to these choices but my faith in God to provide in these situations and a strong belief that I can accomplish something when I really set my mind to it (which sometimes works out and sometimes does not).

Even when you choose change it isn't always easy, but oftentimes the hardest change to accept and adapt to is what is forced on you.  These professional changes were of my own choosing, but losing my mom was not a change I would have chosen at this age and stage of my life.  There was too much life left to be lived with her, too much to be done and said.  But that change was out of my control -- no matter how much I believed.

Most of the time I cannot forget what happened four months ago.  But there are moments in the day when perhaps I'm caught up in something at work or watching a tv show when it feels like life is as it always was.  And then in the next moment I remember that it isn't at all the same.  It's a different life now.  That doesn't mean it has to be bad but it has to be different.  Sometimes its tempting to pretend that everything is the same but I know that can only last for a while...change this big is inescapable.

So, with so much change out of my control, it's time for me to change something within my sphere of influence.  My life is different already and I guess its time that I reflect that.

I Solemnly Swear...

I know that there is a massive heatwave currently gripping our nation, but tonight we need to visit a much cooler time in the past.  It's December 31st, 2008 and I am spending a quiet New Year's Eve at home with my parents (yep, that's how I roll).  Of course, everyone thinks about making major changes in life around the new year. Resolutions are made (and subsequently broken) each year by us all.  I was looking forward to an upcoming trip to China in March 2009 that I had planned and had a goal of losing about 20 lbs. before I left.

My mom was never one to make big resolutions. I think she lived her life the way that she enjoyed it as much as possible.  That doesn't mean that she didn't have things she wanted to change, but she was pretty matter of fact and lived in the here and now.  I admire that because I can tend to get caught up in the 'what if's' or 'if only's' of life sometimes.  However, this year she must have been thinking about making a change because when I made this crazy deal with her she didn't balk at all, which was very unusual.

She had smoked for about 40 years at that point.  We had nagged her to quit for many, many, many years but she always just shrugged it off.  But on this New Year's Eve I had the crazy idea to make a pact with her.  I make an serious attempt at losing a large amount of weight and she makes a serious attempt at quitting smoking.  I admit that I figured she would tell me to take a hike but she said yes! Whoa!

She did it, after struggling for a couple months she finally quit around March of that year and I cannot tell you how proud of her we all were.  She looked healthier and more beautiful than I had ever seen her!!  And at first I kept up my end of the bargain as well. I did indeed lose my 20 pounds for China (and climbed the Great Wall - more on that later!) but when I got back...let's just say I got a little off course again.

Mom & I at Clint's wedding.

Life got busy and I got distracted. At first it was good things (my brother got married in 2009) and then a bombshell hit. It's a sad sort of irony that a year after giving up smoking (and looking healthier than ever) that my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer.  It was 14 months of constantly fighting that nasty disease and not thinking about taking care of myself at all.  I gained more weight...and my mom noticed.  We found out around New Year's that her treatment wasn't containing the disease and she was not going to win this battle.  Those were some of the hardest -- and most precious -- weeks of my life.  We spent much time together and had great talks about life.  Mom made me promise (again) that I would lose this weight.  I was hesitant at the time because my heart was so full I couldn't even think about doing something that radical.  But I knew she was right. 

It's been 4.5 months since she passed and my heart is still broken.  I can't explain to you why I feel motivated to set out on this journey now, except to say that it is a calling.  I am sorry my mom won't get to walk with me down this path but she's in my heart...and she's my inspiration.

What's in a name? BHAG's

I've always dreamed of writing a book.  I probably never will, but I'm looking at this blog as the next best thing, a chance for me to tell a story.  As I mentioned yesterday, the story will unfold in the coming months and years, however I want to take a couple days to outline the overall themes.  When you read a book (a good one, at any rate) you generally get the outline of the plot within the first couple chapters.  A boy finds out he's a wizard (Harry Potter). A hobbit inherits a great weapon (Lord of the Rings). A single man moves into the neighborhood and encounters a fiesty and independent woman (Pride & Prejudice).

In my story, I have a BHAG.  What is a BHAG you may ask?  No, it's not a typo, nor a character in Harry Potter.  A BHAG was coined by author Jim Collins in the book Good to Great.  It's a business book and not necessarily one you might naturally turn to when trying to transform your life. But I have achieved a moderate level of success in my career and organizations that I led by having a BHAG so I figured, what can it hurt to have one (or two) for my personal life?

A BHAG is a Big Hairy Audacious Goal.  In my humble opinion, a BHAG is thinking beyond what you think you can do and figuring out how to accomplish your dream.  It should stretch you to a limit and ultimately take you out of your comfort zone.  It should challenge you to reach to new heights and not accept the status quo.

I have 2 BHAG's on this journey. The first is the promise I made to my mom (which if you've read the description to the blog, you've already figured out).  If I cannot accomplish the first BHAG I have no hope of accomplishing the second one.  So what are they and how do I plan to accomplish them?  Rest assured that I've already taken the first steps on my journey and more will come...the plot begins to unfold and even I as the author can't say for sure which turn it will take.

Welcome!

It is with a little trepidition that I enter into this world of blogging.  I am doing this for myself mainly and the accountability that making this public will provide.  This is really going to be a journey for me. A journey that will last at least two years and will be undoubtedly marked by many successes (hopefully!) and a few failures (hopefully very few).  If I can accomplish my goal, I believe that this will make for a very compelling story - one full of good old fashioned hard work and dedication!

So what is my goal exactly?  Nothing more or less than keeping a promise I made to my mom before she passed away only 4 months ago.  Really, the original promise was made 2.5 years ago but mom reminded me of it in several conversations we had only weeks before she passed.  A deal is a deal and I can't renegotiate the terms of the deal now (not that I want to).  She kept her end of the bargain and I didn't.

More will come in the days ahead. I'll tell you about my plan, my exact goal and a little bit more about my wonderful and amazing mother, Judy!  Oh, and I will soon explain the design behind this blog.  It was all designed purposefully!  Wish me Godspeed on this journey I'm about to embark upon!