But as I recently traveled back from an overseas trip I meditated a bit on my journey and why I am trying to do this. I thought about all the obstacles I have come up against (the biggest one being myself) and a thought occurred to me that hasn't before. I have to be strong and tackle this just as my mom had to be strong and tackle her disease.
I'm reminded of that resolve because as I write this my aunt is currently in the final stages in her own battle with cancer. It's hard for me to make sense of all of this right now, but I can tell you this: my mom & her sister have both inspired me in the way they faced down their disease and fought back.
I had a front row seat in my mom's battle and let me share with you what I saw. From the moment of her diagnosis my mom was an inspiration. There were no "woe is me" moments, but a clear resolve to do everything she could to fight back. She had treatments with at least four different kinds of chemo (and all the various side-effects they caused), went through 2 major rounds of radiation, fought of an infection that nearly killed her, spent nearly 6 weeks (not consecutive) in the hospital, walked around with an oxygen tank, took more pills than she knew what to do with, gained and lost weight and had countless blood transfusions. There was no 'time off' from having cancer. She dealt with nausea, digestive issues, hives, weakness, sores, hairloss, confusion and more. Cancer doesn't fight fair.
And through it all, my mom dealt with it with grace. My aunt has also battled just as hard with her disease. I wish with all my heart that I didn't have to have this type of inspiration but watching both of them tells me that I come from tough stock. If they can go through all of this, literally feeling like hell, then I can suck it up and accomplish this task.
I only hope that I can do it with as much grace and dignity as they have. Love you two...
